its been 24 hours since i found out the news. 48 since it happened. this feels like a bad dream but no one can wake up from it. when did a nightmare become reality? when will this nightmare end
how am i supposed to fully trust myself if i dont know what that looks like? ive been told it takes time and its almost like learning how to walk or breathe all over again but ive never been told how long that takes. some say weeks others say years some even say hours. all i know is i stay busy in hopes that my mind will let me forget my past
you told me to be myself so i was. then you told me i was too much so i stopped being myself to keep you around. you didnt like that and told me i was too fake for doing that. so i started showing my true colors a little bit at a time and you told me i needed too much attention. so i stopped. i stopped messaging you. i stopped caring. i stopped. because i cant put up with the whiplash all the back and forth you do gives me.
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