things i wish i could tell you

A,
1. i wish you lived closer
2. i wish i could be "normal" and not deal with depression everyday
3. somedays i don't want to get out of bed because i feel like crying
4. i read your blog daily
5. i don't like school
6. i would rather stay home and read then go anywhere
7. i hear songs and think of you and cry...a lot
8. let's just put it this way, i cry....way too much.
9. i feel like i've let you down again
10. i feel like i need to apologize for every little thing i do
11. i'm scared
12. i went off my meds because they made me sick
13. i can't talk about myself because i feel stupid and like im boring everyone
14. i've mastered the "fake happiness" from my meds
15. i wish he would forget about you
16. i still go for walks, just to be alone
17. i hate my short hair
18. i want to get a tattoo
19. i've always been jealous of you
20. i wish that boys would look at me like they look at you
21. i wish i had more friends
22. dad says i need to be more "social" because it will "help with the depression"
23. i like ASL more than english
24. i want to be loved for me
25. i hated going to counseling
26. i wish i could write like you can
27. i wish someone wrote about me like he writes about you
28. i never wanted to make you angry
29. i love your laugh
30. i miss your blue car
31. i miss sitting in the car listening to music while drinking swig
32. i found an artist i love
33. i feel alone
34. im sorry