when home isnt home

i packed up my bags for the last time before moving again. i was excited to come home, i was excited to see everyone again after what felt like ages, but when i moved everything changed. its not that that excitement wasnt there because it was, it was just different. something didnt belong. me. i didnt belong anymore. the place i called home for 19 years was no longer home. i didnt have a home. everything changed. i moved away, i changed. suddenly i didnt belong. i didnt belong home but i didnt belong at my dorm either. i was alone. even though i was surrounded by hundreds of people i felt alone. i wanted to quit. i wanted to quit life, my job, leave everyone and everything behind. but i didnt. i kept going. i felt alone but i pushed through. my home doesnt feel like home to me and it may never feel like home but im here. im giving life my all. im here.

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